Saturday, September 28, 2013


I have been trying to write a post about anger for a couple of weeks, but it is hard to get my thoughts into a coherent whole.  I was recently exposed to a very angry person, and I am still trying to figure out how to handle it and them.  Luckily, I don't see this person very often, but it will certainly affect our relationship.

I don't usually get this deep on my blog, but the issue has been rattling around in my head for a while and I needed to write this.  It's complicated, and I still don't think I have captured exactly what I think about anger, but I'm putting it out there anyway.  Something to ponder.

Anger is a very powerful emotion.  Anger gets us charged up and can help us feel superior to whomever we are angry at.  It can feel good.  It certainly feels better than sadness or guilt or a variety of other mental states.  So maybe when we feel pain or grief, both of which can be devastating, if we can get angry instead, that avoids the hurt.  Anger can be so complex, mixing with all of our other feelings.

A wise person I know said that anger is neither good nor bad, it just is.  I suppose that's true, although I'm still working on how I feel about that statement.  I suppose that anger can sometimes be healthy, but personally I haven't quite figured out how to harness it effectively.

At the same time that anger makes us feel strong, it can destroy.  It can be very corrosive, feeding on itself like a fire.  Once you get mad, it's easy to stay mad, and to get even madder.

It's important, however, to remember how toxic anger is to others.  If you are excessively angry at someone, yelling and saying mean things, you are making another person feel small and unimportant.  If your anger persists at them, they will certainly be fearful of you and very unsure of themselves in your presence.

Even if your anger is not directed at someone, but rather at that nail or screw that is refusing to do your bidding, extreme anger can still be unsettling for those in the vicinity.  It can cause people to see you in a different way and to treat you accordingly.

In a normal ending to a post, here is where I would add a lighthearted remark or comment that would pull the whole post together.  But all I really want to say is peace and love, baby!

1 comment:

  1. On the topic of anger (and not necessarily specifically in this case), my high school communications class taught that anger is always covering a deeper emotion, usually hurt of some kind. Could be hurt that someone doesn't care enough about you to speak kindly, or act nicely or take your thoughts and desires into consideration, etc. I turn this over in my head semi-regularly and try to see where and how it might fit in certain situations and if it's really true or not. I guess this would make anger a secondary emotion if it's true.